You Can’t Have it All… At Once

I am really blessed to have clients who offer me one of the best classrooms life could offer- invitation into their lives.  I learn so much from my own clients that sometimes I am tempted to think I don’t need to have my own coach. I digress.

So, I want to share with you one of the most important life lessons I have seen my clients demonstrate extremely well over the years.  The lesson is simply this: “You can’t have it all-at once” Knowing the answer to the question, What are you willing to give up in order to get what you want? is the start of truly having what you want.

You might not agree with me- but after being on this amazing planet for a half century- I know you can’t have it all- at once.  I’ve seen those clients who subscribe to the school of thought that you can have it all. Only to find they’ve consciously or unconsciously given up something to get what they really want.

Don’t agree with my statement?  Do a quick analysis of your own life and I will bet you my last dollar- you too gave up something along the way to have what you currently have.  You are either in a phase playing a role as mother first while you put your career on hold.  Or, you might be one of the top guns in your company, fulfilling all the demands knowing that you will miss out on your children’s firsts.  There are numerous examples of you demonstrating the truth to my statement.

About 27 years ago I met a woman in university. I thought she looked older than the ‘normal’ university students I was used to seeing. So I asked her how is it she is in university at this time in her life.  She told me she always wanted to be a doctor, but ended up having a family. She put her career on hold until the last of her children was in high school.

Fast forward 5 years and I was at the hospital doing my internship when I heard my name called. I turned and you guessed it- it was the same lady I’d met in university. Only this time she was in med school doing her training to become a doctor.

so why do so many people stress themselves trying to have it all- at once.  I was this person up to my early 40’s.  It was around this time I really got the epiphany that I can’t have it all-at once.  That I truly have a life time of time to have what I am intended to have.  This is a very liberating thought!

This is one of the reasons why our IDARE Life program really emphasizes the 8 critical structures for living your best life possible. Before our clients get to identifying what they want to have in their lives they’re asked to clear a path to allow them to be clear on first things first. To remove distractions and barriers and most important of all to love how they live, work and play in the moment.   Below are 2 simple ways I DARE you to live a full life:

To align your actions with your life’s purpose you will need to do two things:  Think of a Teeter-Totter and how best to balance it.

  1.  Move some of the items over to your side of the Teeter-Totter.

These are the items you intend to hold near and dear to you, these items are ‘keepers’. They are the foundation on which you build your ordered inner world and they are used just the same way as a GPS guides us safely to our destination.

  1. Your second option to balancing your Teeter-Totter is to donate, or discard some of the items, completely remove them from your Teeter-Totter.

These are the obstacles and roadblocks to reaching your goal of living your best life possible. These obstacles could be ones created by you; or they could be barriers you have allowed others to impose upon you.

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