What’s My Role in it all?

I don’t know if turning 50 makes one more patient with certain things and just absolutely impatient with others.  I find I am in this place and frankly speaking I love it!  I  truly do not care for certain things and make no bones about letting those who wish to impose them upon me know where I stand.  I am very comfortable doing the same for the things I care about and want in my life.

So, what has brought on this rant? ( if I may call it that). I recently had  a conversation with a very close friend about the upcoming federal elections.  This is the kind of friend I can talk about all the hot button topics and we still remain friends. I love this person very much!  So, he raised the issue of affordable housing and what do I think of current and past strategies to address this much needed service.

What is my role? What is your role? These are the questions that need to be asked.  It’s sounds great when we can intellectualize about issues. What this does is it keeps us free from seeing we are shirking our responsibilities as  members of our communities. it gives us a false sense that we are actually doing something.  Having these intellectual discussions only allows us to flex our mental muscles. That’s it. nothing more, nothing less.

I see this in families- both in the workplace and at home.  When  employees talk amongst themselves about an issue without taking any action to correct  the issue, they are just flexing their mental muscles. They’re actually adding to the problem rather than contributing to a solution.  If more employees can ask themselves what is my role? What can I do to improve this situation? There would be far less drama and  ‘stress’ in the workplace.  People would actually be more productive and love how they work!

Drama in your family? The same solutions for the workplace applies at home.  Families need to take a page out of Mother Teresa’s book. If we all were to adopt the principle of each person sweeping their own front steps the world would be a much cleaner place. This is how we affect change one person at a time.  In families- both work and home we each need to look at the person in the mirror and face the reality that we are either a part of the solution or part of the problem.  Sitting on the fence is akin to being a part of the problem.   We must make a choice.

I.D.A.R.E. to make decisions and take action.  So, to my beloved friend my response to his questions was along the line of what I have done and will continue to do to make my community a better place for us all to live. to do this I must first be clear about how to use I.D.A.R.E. to guide me.  Here’s what this looks like:

What is my Intention? What attitude do I bring to the situation?

Does my attitude motivate or give me a strong Desire  to achieve this Intention?   Do I ask myself what’s in in for me first or how can I help?

What Action (s) have I taken or will take to help me fulfill my Intention?

If I were to take Action (s)  toward my Intention, what kinds of Results would I want to see?

Finally, how would I Evaluate my success or failure to achieve my Intention?  What signs would I look for to tell me I am on course or off course?

Think the above is too complex for you? Guess what, this way of thinking and acting is highly desirable.  It builds a strong EQ-emotional intelligence.  Current and more recent research point to EQ being a much better predictor of overall success in life than IQ- intelligence quotient. This success spans work and personal arenas.   It determines whether you grow and evolve in a company, a relationship or if you sink and drown.

51% of managers fail as managers because they lack the skills of EQ. This is also true when we look at the divorce rate for first time marriages.  More than half of these marriages are doomed to end in divorce, it’s even worse for second marriages!  I.D.A.R.E. is designed to teach and coach the user how to build  and develop this all important aspect of who they are- EQ. 

To build your EQ bank start with a simple question- what’s my role in it all?

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