I have the privilege of working with some great men and women over the years. They let me into their lives and that requires a lot of trust and respect. I am very grateful for this. On my part I am called to task to help them achieve their goals and of course challenge and help them hold themselves accountable. This brings me to today’s topic: You’ve overcome the past but can’t get the past out of you.
Most challenges and dramas in life are brought on by the simple reason of not letting go of the past. This means though the person might be in a new career, with different co-workers and a different direct report- they either consciously or unconsciously harbour thoughts that get in their way of truly moving forward. They self-sabotage.
Lost the weight but still think and act overweight? I have seen this too with my clients over the years. They are either still thinking and seeing themselves as fat, overweight and unattractive, even when they aren’t. They self-sabotage.
Got another opportunity to share your life with someone special BUT can’t seem to let go of the previous relationship that went south? You are not alone. I have worked with numerous clients who struggle with the fall out of previous bad relationships while they are with the perfect person for them. They self-sabotage.
What’s a person to do given this hold their past has on them? The logical and most productive thing to do is to let it go- release anything and anyone that wants to hold you hostage.
If you are committed to having a successful career in your new job placement, or have a healthy relationship with that special someone. If you are committed to being the healthiest you can be- then it is time to shake the past and grab on to the future.
IDARE Life and IDARE Work are two powerful programs that show our clients just how to ditch the past and grab on to the future while staying connected to the now-the present moment.
The saying you can take a pig out of the sty but you can’t take the sty out of the pig is sadly too true for many. It’s the holding on to past wrongs, missed opportunities and perceived oversights from others that keep too many people in the ditch of despair.
Below is a simple yet powerful exercise I use to help shift my clients’ perspective to a new and more beneficial one: The tool I use is Shifting Perspective that has 5 very powerful parts to it.
I will introduce you to the 3rd part: Best Case /Worse Case Scenario: Re frame the Perspective- 4 powerful questions to ask:
- What’s the worst thing that could happen if you hold on to this perspective?
- What’s the best thing that could happen if you hold on to this perspective?
- What’s the worst thing that could happen if you release this perspective?
- What’s the best thing that could happen if you release this perspective?
By simply asking yourself or someone with whom you work these 4 powerful questions- you help break the hold they are allowing their past to have on them. You help them and yourself get out of the sty and get the sty out of you.
I DARE you to love how you live, work and play!